Article 3
If we have the choice between well-being and stress, what is it that makes so many people choose stress?
Our "awareness" has the ability to observe and look at ourselves in the middle of a feeling, in the middle of a thought, in the middle of an experience or situation. For example, awareness can observe that right now there is a part of me that is stressed. This may be due to too much or too little to do, to worrying and thinking unfavorable thoughts, or doing things that do not "feel right" for us. Although it may feel like we are caught in the clutches of stress, there is always access to a range of other emotions and states of mind. It can help us to think that we always have the opposite within us. For example, the antithesis of stress can be calm. Think of it as having a smorgasbord of moods, emotions, needs, etc., and that awareness is always just awareness, of everything. We can choose to stop and take note of the conscious observer's information and use our ability to choose new thoughts or break the states we are in (breaking states takes 90 sec) and thus more actively act to meet up with the highest good for ourselves.
Sounds simple, doesn't it? So why is it so difficult for most of us?
Often we don't take the time or we don't know how to listen to the body's signals, we haven't learned to discern the thoughts of the "ego" with what is our inner wisdom, higher consciousness, the voice of the heart, inner valuation system or whatever we want to call it. We receive information in more ways than we are often aware of. For example, good feelings tell us that we are on the "right track" while bad or difficult feelings tell us that there is something we need to explore, work through or change. If we listen really, really carefully, we can see that our body is sending signals in every situation or every choice we make. For example, think about how the body reacts when we get scared or find something difficult. The body's response is to hold its breath and tense up. When we are satisfied or content, we breathe out and relax. These are natural responses that we can practice feeling, increasing our body awareness and allowing us to act more in tune with what creates well-being and harmony for us.
If Plato were alive today, he would surely be impressed by our technology but surprised and questioning what we have been doing in terms of personal development. We need to give ourselves time to get to know ourselves on a new level in a new time. In the societies we have built, our human evolution needs self-leadership, presence, stillness, reflection, courage and action around sustainability and well-being, among other things. An organization has the opportunity to contribute to a healthy evolution with the help of authentic and conscious leaders. Are you a leader who makes a difference?
It all starts with ourselves, if you want to evolve on a higher level, be curious about yourself, your body, your awareness, and your personal development. Study nature and you can gain wisdom from a total functioning health system (unless we interfere of course). A contemporary leader goes beyond old ways of thinking and uses a holistic approach beyond the box.
We have a body that is extremely intelligent, it's innate. So intelligent that it can choose to create stress signals, depression, anxiety, or disease to make our (in stress) "low IQ" think in healthier ways. Often it is events or illnesses that force us to face our basic needs and change our thinking and behavioral strategies. We are not so trained to act on our body's intelligence, we have learned to trust what the expiry date on the milk carton says more than our nose. We have learned what to eat through diets instead of feeling what makes us feel good or trusting our thoughts more than our intuition. We have a whole law book in our head about what we have been taught about right and wrong, good and bad, illusory truths (based on upbringing, society, religion, etc) instead of listening to our own inner truths. We need to be our own leaders and dare to think, feel and act from the inside out.
When our body and emotions clearly signal information about unfavorable stress, we tend to complain about the situation or judge ourselves or others, we feel worse and the negative spiral is a fact, we further deteriorate our emotional and physical state and our behaviors. If we instead realised that our intelligent system is our best friend that does everything to make us understand that we are going against ourselves, and our values in one way or another. What if instead, we were grateful for our EQ or HeartIQ stepping in and taking over, when our thoughts don't have the "mind"?
Act on the signals
Often I hear similar sentences, when it has already "gone too far", or "I was getting signals all the time, why didn't I listen?". That's often the case, we know but we deny it. Kind of like if a fire alarm (our signals) goes off and we would choose to turn it off without exploring if and where the fire is (our needs). That's what makes the difference, stopping and listening deeply, facing yourself, reflecting and asking yourself the harder questions, and then... having the courage to act on the information and truths that are uncovered. It's part of the evolution, stepping outside the comfort zone, feeling the resistance, and getting through it. Only then can the inner power and the redemptive sense of freedom be released. The alternative is a bad solution, slowly draining the body's nutritional system and losing energy, slowly killing the desire and passion in our emotional system, slowly letting the focus of thought and the clarity of memory fade, slowly draining the life energy of the soul.
Inner drives of belonging, fitting in, feeling good, and seeing are powerful motivators. They are millennia-old drivers of survival, therefore an underlying fear of rejection or not being good enough. So choosing stress over well-being is related to unawareness of self and situation or awareness that frightens us, whereupon we go into denial. The simple becomes difficult.
Acting on what we know we need can mean facing fears and the risk of rejection, not being liked, disappointing others, etc. That's why we run. The book of the list shows that the thing we fear most is public speaking (over dying) and the same response is found in a survey involving managers and leaders. This says something about our fears of not belonging, making a fool of ourselves, etc. When we become more aware of our inner drives, we can treat ourselves with more empathy, meet our needs, and feel more secure. We can dare to follow our inner truth and create a more sustainable life, choosing well-being over stress. Often it turns out that when we take the step and act on what feels right, we are met with more support and positivity than we dared to believe and both self-esteem and vitality feel real!
So we can all reflect on the following: how can we think we can create a sustainable society, sustainable organizations, or sustainable earth if we are not sustainable people?
4 tips to choose well-being and feel rich in success
1. The key to prosperity is to take care of basic needs! The results are a fact. Here's the recipe, follow it and you'll live a rich life. Simple isn't it?
Breathe slow breaths, learn presence, eat healthy food, activate your body, just be time, spend time in nature, love your work, do pleasurable things, and create great relationships.
2. Morning moment: wake up, breathe a few breaths, and set an intention for the day.
It's a new day! Who do you choose to be? How are you choosing to "show up" today?
Whatever happens during the day, say to yourself: Interesting! What is possible now?
3. Book a development call with yourself once a week - ask yourself questions, e.g. below.
What prior or goals are important to me? What actions am I taking to meet them?
How do I live my values? How do I take care of my well-being now?
What am I happy with this week? What do I want to develop and improve for next week?
4. In everyday situations, listen to your body's signals. Is it saying YES or NO?
Start tuning into yourself, see what needs are meeting up with your well-being, and take action.
How can I move on from stress or how can I actively work on personal development if I need support from someone else?
Talk to the manager or HR at your company. Either there is an occupational health service or consultants like me are hired for specific needs, e.g. stress management, boosting self-esteem, personal development, strengthening leadership, etc. You can also privately hire a coach with a holistic perspective or a therapist with a specialization that suits you. Maybe you know a coach/therapist you would like to go to, talk to the company and explore the possibility of them covering the cost of your health or development. Several of my clients have had that opportunity. Good luck!
By: Anna Ugander
Categories: : English